Cream cheese: full fat. I know. I know. But don’t. The reduced fat kind doesn’t blend right, it gets a little gummy, and life is too short for gummy olive spread.
Mayonnaise: regular. Not Greek yogurt, not sour cream — though sour cream actually works in a pinch and gives it a slightly tangier flavor that’s not bad. Just different.
Garlic powder rather than fresh garlic, which I know sounds like a shortcut but it really does blend more evenly here. Fresh garlic can get a little sharp and raw-tasting if you’re not cooking it, and you’re not cooking anything in this recipe.
Ingredients
8 oz cream cheese, softened (leave it on the counter for an hour — or more, I usually forget and it’s fine)
About 1 cup green olives, pitted and roughly chopped — I say roughly because I don’t want uniform little cubes, I want some variation in the pieces
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon olive brine (do not skip this)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon black pepper, or a little more if you’re in the mood
Cream Cheese and Olive Spread
How to Make It
Start with the cream cheese and mayonnaise. You want the cream cheese genuinely softened — not cold-and-tough, but not so warm it’s started to separate. If you forgot to leave it out, you can microwave it in short bursts, like ten seconds at a time, but watch it because it goes from “perfect” to “melted puddle” faster than seems reasonable.
Beat those two together in a medium bowl until they’re smooth. I use a fork, not a mixer — it doesn’t need that much force and I hate washing the mixer bowl for something this small. Mix until you don’t see streaks of either one, just a uniform pale cream.
Then add everything else. The olives, the brine, the garlic powder, the pepper. Stir it all together until it’s well combined. Taste it. Add more pepper if you want. If it tastes flat, add a little more brine — sometimes olives vary in saltiness and you just have to adjust.
Transfer it to a mason jar. I use a pint jar, which is a little big but gives you room to get a knife in there. Seal it and put it in the fridge for at least an hour. Really, overnight is better. I’ve eaten it immediately — I won’t pretend I haven’t — but the version you make at 3pm and eat at lunch the next day is noticeably better than the version you make at 6:30 and eat at 7.
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
Variations
Adding a few dashes of Tabasco gives it a little heat that cuts through the richness — not something I’d do every time, but it’s a valid choice. I’ve stirred in fresh dill when I had it on hand, and that was good. Parsley too, though parsley doesn’t add much flavor, just color. Someone once mentioned finely chopped dried cranberries “for sweetness” and I smiled and nodded, but honestly — I don’t know. I haven’t tried it. Maybe someday when I’m feeling adventurous.
Storage
It keeps in the fridge for up to a week, maybe a little longer if you’re not squeamish about it. I’ve eaten it at day nine before and been completely fine, but I’m also not recommending that officially.
Do not freeze it. I tried that once — I had made a double batch for something and thought I’d freeze half. The texture when it thawed was wrong in a way I can’t fully describe. Not dangerous, just… sad. Some things don’t survive the freezer and this is one of them.
